I know you want the return of your ex. Yet you are thinking about moving on as well. You know there are flaws in that person, but your heart always tells you to go back and think about how good they sometimes are. All you want is to be with the person again for better or for worse. Ok and guess what? When we break up, more than 80 percent of us think about it.
Then you’re crying, and maybe even staring up at the stars, maybe even hoping and thinking, ‘Please… just let me get my ex back. I hope my ex just made a mistake and he/she didn’t think about it. We’re great for each other, I know. “Then you look at your phone every half an hour, check your messenger, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and heck… email inbox, to see if your ex would like to talk to you, all ready to get back together. I just want to call my ex and say I love you.
End. STOP. It’s all in your brain.
Now here are very important ways to win your ex back:
Step 1: Cease All Contact (Seriously, No Text Messages)
You have to give your ex (boyfriend or girlfriend) the time and space they need to work things out they’re never going to miss you if you don’t, and they’re never going to come back if they never miss you. As a man, after my breakup, this was one of the biggest mistakes I made, almost ruining my chances of having them back. They are forced to come back to you if this occurs, even though they initially promised themselves they would not.
The connections in our ties are part of our daily routine’s fabric. A 2010 study found that much like cigarettes, alcohol or gambling, romantic love is an addiction.
Breaking the addiction allows your ex to experience life without you, at least for a little while and it will give them the opportunity to consider whether the breakup was a good decision or whether focusing on a few unaddressed issues might have saved it…. Let your ex fix that on his own, either way, without getting them any more confused by contacting them.
To remove any possibility of calling or sending them a text message, make sure you uninstall their number from your phone… note that the idea is to have no touch.
ALSO READ: Ways to be More Mature in a Relationship
If you don’t want all the links to be broken, write down their number or email address and keep it at home in a drawer. Just make sure it’s enough of a method to reach out that when you feel sad, you won’t do it impulsively. (The classic drunk text messages will not be sent and your chances of getting back together will be increased).
“If you never miss them, they never return”
You’re probably concerned that your ex is just going to move on to someone else, but think about the times that a relationship ends. You didn’t move on to a new one immediately, right? Trust me, your boyfriend or girlfriend is not going to get married tomorrow and go out. As all exes do they’ll always be thinking about you.
If you’ve been trying to stay in touch with your ex, don’t worry: unless a restraining order has been released against you, all is not lost.
Step 2: Focus On Your Body, Not Your Ex
Your relationship ended when your ex felt your relationship’s positive aspects did not outweigh the negative ones. That’s hard to hear, I know, but it’s the truth.
That doesn’t mean that the negatives are insurmountable, but assessing and enhancing what you bring to a partnership doesn’t hurt.
To get your blood pumping, do something: go for a run, raise some weights, hike, whatever you want. Studies show that exercise can help change your mood significantly, and believe me, you need a boost.
I know that we’re romanticizing brooding characters who lament their lost love, but believe me: it’s not as noble as they seem. Exercise is a good excuse for getting out of the house and focusing your energies on something other than a breakup.
Plus, if you put your mind to it you can make major modifications to your appearance in less than 30 days. In that period of time, though you might not change your entire body, imagine the look on your ex’s face when they see you standing taller and more formed than ever before. In order to search for attractive partners, the brain is hard wired, so use that to your advantage!
Step 3: Get Your Mind Back
You need to show your ex that since the last time you were together, you’ve become a stronger person, not just a more physically fit person; they won’t be impressed when your ex reaches out to hear about all the times you went to the gym. To make yourself more well-rounded, use this opportunity.
An identity crisis is one of the impacts of a breakup. [R] It’s natural: when you were together, much of your life revolved around your partner, and if that was taken away, you might feel confused as to what to do next.
Perhaps you’ve always wanted to do something like skydiving, learning to play an instrument, or running guns across eastern Europe. Whatever it is, now is the time for you, even if it’s just reading a novel, to do it. Through who you are as a person, you will feel more satisfied, and your confidence will quickly increase.
Note, it’s typically because they don’t feel secure about their future with that person when people break up with others. In the future, they expect that it will not work out because the other person is not going in the right direction.
You smash their idea of what you are going to become in the future when you start changing your mind and body.
If your ex thinks: “Oh, they will never amount to anything”
“And all of a sudden, you’re taking new classes, working on your mind and body, trying to become a better person, breaking their reality, forcing them to wonder, “Maybe I was wrong! ”
This is what I did when I went through a personal breakup and got confused.
Step 4: Rebuild Existing Relationships
Here’s a fun statistic: in a breakup, the average person loses eight friends. In the immediate aftermath, friends will help get you through, but over time, you need to start giving back to those friendships. Otherwise, you, along with your wife, risk losing your mates.
You are effectively replacing one mental crutch (your boyfriend or girlfriend) with another by using your friends as your support net after a breakup (your friends). Instead of doing something about your life, concentrate your focus on their lives.
Your ex may be irreplaceable, but studies show that the advantages of a romantic relationship (companionship, reliability and trust) can also be found in healthy friendships.
Step 5: … And Build New Ones (Key to getting your ex)
You’ve gotta go on dates. Yeah, I mean I know. Breathing profoundly. Only breathe… breathe.
Maybe you’re thinking, “How is dating going to bring my ex back?” “Don’t be rude, first. Secondly, if they know your door is still open, your ex is not going to come back. It’s called the “scarcity principle”: the more anything is available i.e., you), the less demand for it there is.
Dating doesn’t have to be serious; as long as you make it clear to your dates, casual dating is perfect. (Nevertheless, leave out the bit about getting your ex back. This is a non-starter.)
Go on dates, have a little fun and make her laugh.
At first it may feel uncomfortable, like you are cheating on your ex. But note, you want your ex to feel “the remorse of the seller”; by reentering the world of dating, you signal that without them, you are happy going on with your life.
Step 6: Don’t Force the Issue With Your Girlfriend / Boyfriend
The decision to reconcile is completely in the hands of your ex, much like their decision to break up. All you can do is work on discovering new avenues that are not connected to your relationship to feel content and fulfilled.
It’s tempting to want to reach out on social media to your ex or gush about how wonderful life has been since the breakup. You think your ex may be forced to admit they’ve made a big mistake. Believe me, it’s not going to work.
Maybe your ex thinks you’re going to see your previous relationship as a waste of time, or they’re going to see it as a blatant effort to play on their feelings in the hope that they won’t have a choice but to date you again. Surprisingly, there is no winning mixture of thinly-veiled contempt and/or emotional coercion.
“You can’t do anything to make them want to come back in reality, you can only make them want to come back.”